Tag Archives: Jesus Christ

Can God Bless an Unhappy Marriage?

When I was a parole officer I had a certain partner for many years. He was a bit older and married for several years while I was seeking a mate. One day he said of marriage, “There are days that you really hate that person you married.” ‘Agh!’ I thought, ‘what kind of marriage does he have?’

That was probably 30 years ago.

Paul’s prophetic warning in II Timothy 3, “There will be terrible times in the last days” also depicts therein the state of marriage. While the world is bombarded with immorality and apostasy, Christian marriages are a prized target because our life and marriage should be a light that honors God. The shock, betrayal and anguish caused by discovered adultery, pornography and deception is doubled by the confusing questions, “Didn’t I marry a Christian?” “How did God allow this to happen?” “How could he/she do such things – where was the Holy Spirit?” and…

“What should I do? What would God have me do?” “Is God finished here?”

(If someone is in an abusive marriage there should be no question about leaving, only prayer for strength to leave. Nearly every large precinct has a ‘domestic abuse officer’ – call them. Believe me, many people find God in jail and so can your spouse.)

However, most marriages are not dying from abuse, they are either a) suffering deeply from the pummeling anguish of betrayal and/or b) slowly dying from erosion, drifting, and indifference. The questions however, remain the same.

Many Christians consider adultery to be the doctrinal ‘ticket out’ of a broken marriage. This may be the right choice if the offending spouse wants to leave. However, in many cases, the situation is complicated with remorse and some level of repentance making decisions deeply troubling. The ‘open door’ to flee marriage is an option, not a mandate, neither does it signify God’s specific will. Consider Paul and Silas captive in a harsh dungeon, Acts 16. After being humiliated, beaten and chained, the prison gates miraculously spring open! They were well able gain freedom through this ‘open door’ but their freedom would have foregone the higher will of God to save the jailer and his family. The jailer, destined for suicide, was instead saved and salvation brought to his whole family.

While no one should consider staying in an abusive or harmful manipulative marriage, there are many truths to consider when the turmoil of your relationship crushes you with disappointment, emotional pain, and loneliness.

1. God established marriage and He is for it. For those whose lives are in Christ, our Heavenly Father stands to defend His daughters and sons and will pay back those who afflict them. If the offender is a backslidden Christian, believe in God’s ominous chastisement – it is inevitable.
2. God hates divorce, as stated in Malachi 2:16, which does not mean it is always avoidable but woe to he or she that irreparably damages what God has established. Adulterers, abandoners, and abusers will be held accountable.
3. Satan loves divorce, it is highly valuable to destroying a home and family with lasting consequence on future generations. In divorce Satan can “steal, kill, and destroy” all at once. His schemes orchestrate opportunities for a spouse to fulfill the lusts of his/her heart. Or, like a barrage of termites, devilish thoughts target our hearts, eating away marital foundations, while embellishing every suspicion and inflaming every wound to build an accusatory case against our spouse.
4. God foresaw your marital unhappiness, even misery. Only the Holy Spirit can reach those depths of emotional pain and He awaits our cry. Committed into His hand, He will intervene, He will make His word alive with healing and He will weave our pain into the “all things” that “work together for good”.

Whether our relationship is blown apart or dies slowly the turning point will always be when one or both parties get alone with God and determine to hear from Him. No one can  hijack God’s plan for our life if we remain faithful. While the entire world fixates on personal ‘happiness’, ‘self-gratification’, and ‘self-fulfillment’ God is calling us into a separated walk with Him. “That which is highly esteemed by man is despicable in God’s eyes”. When the world, our friends, our family and even church members say “leave and move on with your life” the Lord may be saying “stay and stand in your faith”, that He may unfold His plans for our life and marriage.

Wise counsel is important and marital counseling may help but no intervention can compare with the true believer hearing from our Heavenly Father. The Lord alone responds to our hearts with promise – when He calls us to stay, He is staying with us, maintaining divine purpose in our life. ‘Divine purpose’ is nothing like worldly esteem or prestige…it is found in the inner suffering that leads to God’s glory and His eternal Kingdom. It is through suffering that we can be “conformed to the image of His Son” who suffered greatly and taught us to carry our cross and die to self will. Marital suffering hammers out the ‘self will’ with painful precision but more than that, it avails us to a deeper and more intimate walk with the Lord.

It is not easily said but God does bless the unhappy and difficult marriage when one or both therein are surrendered to Him. He stands by His sons and daughters who have been downcast and betrayed and upholds those who have been damaged by sinful and offensive decisions. But more importantly, God unveils the darkness in our midst and even in our own hearts and, in doing so, does the most critical work of sanctifying us.

I pray that, in this brief space, we can consider the complexity of marital discord for the believer. Marriage for some believers cannot be saved and they remain blameless. No one should remain in any relationship that is physically or emotionally abusive. However, most issues rooted in selfishness, carnal living, unfaithfulness to God and/or spouse, and neglect lead to increasing ‘love-less-ness’ and resentment. These are often the fruits of devilish whittling and needling, “the schemes of the devil”, targeting our own fleshly inclinations for our destruction.

We have authority in Christ to take a stand in our home and marriage and, in these end times, we dare not waste any more time lamenting of the past, ruminating over offenses, or feeding suspicion and accusations. If we’ve grown to ‘hate’ our spouse, don’t avoid prayer – take it to prayer, pour out honestly to God who already knows our inner battles and pain….

“Lord, I confess to you every dark and painful thought and inclination of my heart – come into my heart with the flashlight of your word and lead me to your living hope! Don’t let me be governed by feelings but lead me in the power of the Holy Spirit! Speak to my heart, speak to my husband/wife’s heart. Bring conviction where there is sin and rebellion. Incline our hearts toward Your will for our life and marriage. Grant me wisdom and discernment to hold fast to truth and dispel the lies of the devil and the deception of my own heart. Help me to trust You for the invisible work in my spouse and help me to be humble to see the darkness of my own heart. I pray for supernatural renewal. May we fix our eyes on You, Jesus, to honor you as we await your coming Kingdom.”

bowling pins aflame

Satan patiently prepares a household, inflaming our flesh for breakdown and divorce – STRIKE!

Finding Victory In Failure

The prevailing American Christian culture has unfortunately produced an artificial Christianity that is polished, happy-clappy, and entertaining. Celebrity pastors coach and stir congregants toward success instead of leading them to carry a cross and follow the Lord. When moral failure cannot be hidden it is somehow justified and  redefined.   Worse, dramatic public repentance may scripted and scheduled – all to maximize damage control to maintain the following and funds.

But for the sincere follower of Christ, those who truly seek to know and serve God, where is the victory in our failures? Is failing, falling short of God’s standards, inevitable? I believe and embrace the scriptures, “He is able to keep us from falling” but, realizing His standard is total humility and perfection, there are endless opportunities for failure  growth.

Our failure may be hidden, an inner flirtation with sin, hatred or unforgiveness in our hearts, or unchecked dark imaginations. Worse of course are the repercussions if we act on sinful inclinations, causing great harm to ourselves and others. In the unseen spiritual war to dishonor God, the devil is ready to reap much benefit from our resent, blame, and justify.

But with God, victory in failure is not an oxymoron it is a promise for us who realign ourselves with the Lord.

Victory: “the act of defeating an enemy or opponent in battle”   You may think the battle is lost but God holds the last strike and blow.

If you are united with Christ through repentance and new birth, God is your Father. This does not change when you fall or fail. He proves His love and His relationship to us through chastisement, “He disciplines those He loves” (Hebrews 12:4-11). The inner conviction of sin is painful but let it be an inner call to draw near to our Father. Our first stand toward victory is on our knees repenting, which is agreeing with God.

When aligned with God, the Holy Spirit who convicts us of sin, avails Himself as much more – supernatural teacher, counselor and comforter. He brings the Word of God to life, “rewarding those who diligently seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6). We are not shunned by God – on the contrary, our relationship with Him can grow deeper.

Victory may not erase the damage caused by our failure and disobedience in areas of important relationships, financial stability, reputation, position, freedom and health. Consequences will not disappear “like it never even happened” but the promises of God stand unshakable:

God is our Father, He will not disown us in our defeat. “A bruised reed He will not break” (Isaiah 42:3). He calls to us in our confusion and quagmire, “Come, let us reason together” (Isaiah 1:18-20). However, if we deny God, if we disown Him, He will disown us. (Matthew 10:33, II Timothy 2:12) Failure will not separate us from God, unbelief is the offense that cuts us off. “…they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but be afraid. For if God did not spare the natural branches (Israel), He will not spare you either….” (Romans 11:17-22)

Trials, tests, and failures reveal our weaknesses, the very chinks in our armor. Our Heavenly Father Himself tests us and tries us, humbling us with the truth that we are totally dependent upon Him to live a holy life. The devil may orchestrate scenarios to ensnare us and bring dishonor to God but failure, even the ‘surprise of sin’ necessarily exposes our most vulnerable areas that prevent us from moving forward in serving the Lord. As soon as we repent and obey, the Lord ministers correction and leads us to straighten that crooked path.

His purposes for those surrendered to Him will go forward. Even if sin or failure robs us of position and reputation, God’s call and His giftings upon us, remain viable. A marred vessel can be valuable in the Hands of the Potter. The Lord is not at all limited by our circumstances but stands alone as the One who can renew, remake, and resurrect.

God can use every battle and trial to refine us for His high calling, ‘to be conformed to the image of His Son’. “And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son…” For the surrendered heart, failure will not change our ‘final destination’.

The world is ready to comfort us in failure and encourage us in failure by, largely, redefining sin and failure as viable choices. Beyond rejecting the ways of God, our world culture now focuses on anesthetizing our conscience. (World to God: Don’t Disturb Our Conscience! http://www.theburninglamp.com)

But our conscience is a gift from God, it is installed to lead us to Him as the only source of deliverance, forgiveness, and renewal. Opposite to worldly culture, through God there is power through brokenness. When our self-will is broken, our best efforts thwarted, our flesh and own wisdom proved futile….God sees a useful and ready vessel.

When we get our ‘test results’ and find that, based on the unchanging standard of God’s Word, we have fallen short…there is cause to repent but also cause to worship and praise God…

Praise God that He cares enough to correct us….praise Him that He stirs our conscience…Be glad that He does not give up on us but can move forward through us if we trust Him at every juncture.

When God Strips and Shrinks Your Life

The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957), starring Grant Williams

There is no need to describe how God can strip our lives of the very things that fulfill us, define us, and give our hearts joy. He can do it in harsh succession – uprooting and shaking the very foundations of our lives – our job, marriage, health and subsequent emotional stability. Those who have walked with the Lord for any length may, at first, rally great inward faith, “I lost my job but I know God has something better!” But the ‘better’ job or calling doesn’t come. Instead, other pillars of life begin to shake and crumble, stripping your sense of security, strength, and pleasure. Emotional damage begins to take root.

What should we believe and do when God strips and shrinks our lives?

1. Believe that, if your life is in His hand, if you’ve truly given your life to Jesus Christ, nothing that has occurred is random, nothing is outside of His personal view, nor is it outside of His personal will for your life. While God doesn’t owe us explanations, we must build and renew our thinking on the foundation that He is sovereign.

2. Meditate on the testimonies and truths in God’s word. Numerous godly men were stripped of their life’s strengths, familial standing, and provisions while at the ‘top of their game’. We often make quick and convenient connections in the lives of Biblical heroes – neglecting to meditate upon, for example, Joseph’s captivity as a slave, his years languishing in a dungeon. We believe spiritual exploits and victories but rarely consider the years of obscurity, loneliness, and ‘insignificance’. We are slow to imagine how Job prepared 10 funerals, clearing the rubble of his children’s home and cattle.

We read Revelation with awe, but what was John’s life like every day on the tiny barren island of Patmos? He had walked with the Son of God, witnessed miracles and partook in world evangelism. Overseeing the churches of Asia, John was a prominent elder, pouring into the foundations of Christian growth. Yet, aged and frail, he was exiled and stripped of familiar fellowship, position, and provisions – with untold sufferings – did his life shrink?

3. When life is shaken, don’t condemn yourself for bouts of depression, anxiety or panic attacks. We wouldn’t lecture a brother or sister suffering from cancer, neither should we lecture ourselves or others when struggling with emotional damage. Healing and deliverance can come instantaneously or can be upon a steady road, walking slowly alongside our Savior.  Resolve to DERAIL patterns of wrong thinking as the Lord brings revelation and renewal. Here is where emotional damage can lead to true spiritual growth.

4. Believe that the world sees suffering as misfortune, bad luck, victimization or bad karma but we, as believers can see suffering as separation unto God, allowed and/or brought about by God Himself.

5. Believe that we as Christians, may have consciously separated our thinking and values from those esteemed in the world but, in these last days, the Lord want to call out His remnant from world-like Christianity. The ‘happy clappy biblical coaching’ that masquerades as truth sets grooves of wrong thinking in our soul, building a perishable faith. God expressly calls us to ‘stand’ in these increasingly wicked last days. When God separates us for personal suffering it is refining fire but not futile fire. 

6. Believe and trust God for today and resist predicting what He will do tomorrow. God is absolutely not a formula God. What He specifically did for Moses, Paul, Ruth or the brother at church may not at all be His plans for us.

American Christianity rejects the truth that God can strip us and shrink us to prepare us for something so small, seemingly inconsequential, of no worldly value or importance. Rare is the sermon or even reference to verses such as Colossians 3:22, “Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything….with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.” God is not at all condoning slavery – regardless of race or national origin. However, Jesus did not come to abolish social order or establish prosperity. He came to ‘save His people from their sins’, a freedom won at great cost. He calls us to obey and flourish in Him regardless of our temporal worldly position or social standing, setting our eyes on eternity where God’s order and rewards are forever.

God’s appointed place for us while in this world may seem to diminish and suffer ruin but great loss lays bare the great need to find contentment and sufficiency in our Savior. Perhaps we will not proclaim great spiritual exploits, evangelize in exotic lands, win over death row inmates, or plant churches. Perhaps we are caring for a mentally or physically infirm spouse, a disabled elderly parent, or showing kindness to neighbors in crisis. Perhaps we are in a solitary place, called to intimate fellowship with the Lord at length and in depth.

As these last days rapidly downward spiral, those in Christ surely want to make a mark on this generation and touch lives for eternity, knowing the power of the Holy Spirit living in us and through us.  Yet still, the Potter decidedly smashes our life at times, ruining it to remake it. I pray that during seasons of smallness and disappointment we resist the temptation to compare our lives against others or measure ourselves with worldly values.  Regardless of our circumstance, may the Lord be enlarged and lifted up.

“Lord, open our eyes to Your ways. In whatever You deem right to take from our temporal lives, I pray that we find our contentment,healing and encouragement in You. May we surrender our lives to Your sovereignty and fulfill Your unchanging exhortation to “stand firm in the faith” and “stand firm to the end.” Help us to “set our hearts on things above” and “set our minds on things above, not on earthly things”, being obedient to Your call upon us today.”

Victory Over Witchcraft

“But woe to the earth and the sea because the devil has gone down to you!  He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.” Revelation 12:12

Every manifestation of demonic power such as Wicca, Santeria, Obeah, Voodoo, Hoodoo or Macumba is subject to the authority of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Many believers assume that they are immune to the supernatural powers invoked by participants in various forms of sorcery. Witchcraft, however, can cause damage in our lives through two separate avenues:

1.  We may open the door to demonic presence through sin. While the Holy Spirit will warn believers again and again, the Christian who neglects these warnings and proceeds into sinful behavior such as adultery, deception, idolatry, greed and other offenses against God will find strategic doors open to demonic influence. How many men or women have fallen to adultery with someone involved with witchcraft?

If Satan is full of fury and with very little time and he is powerful, deceptive, and cunning, won’t he utilize every opportunity and every emissary to entice, trap, engross and destroy? He is not complacent but works “day and night” assessing each saint of God to determine weakness, open wounds, or vulnerable areas for temptation. The Apostle Paul was “aware of Satan’s schemes” but many Christians are not. Alluring participants of witchcraft strategically destroy marriages, homes, and church leadership. To turn from the Lord, to neglect His warnings, and partake in sin opens dark doors that only Christ can shut. True repentance brings restoration but there may be damage and suffering. There is always consequence to sin. Painfully, God can also use enemies to chastise us.

2.   Secondly, the Lord Himself may allow demonic influence to impinge upon our lives. However traumatic and confusing at the time, it is the Lord who is in full control. It is the Lord who measures out the fire and with great purpose. Biblical accounts include the satanic assaults upon Job, the messenger of Satan tormenting Paul and the harassment of Satan upon Jesus in the wilderness. The Word of God is replete with spiritual battles, wars and schemes as dark powers undergird, incite, and target attacks against the people of God. Jesus did not insulate Himself from Satan’s schemes but walked in perfect power to overcome them. At times He allows the devil to touch our lives so we may walk as He did – not in the natural, depending on and engaged with the world – but in the supernatural, depending on God. Demonic attacks should launch us to the Savior’s side, draw us deep into His Word and compel us to trust in His overcoming power. It is God’s will that we spiritually mature through the battle and endure refinement through fire to prepare us as useful vessels for His kingdom.

Many Christians are alive to the world but asleep to the Kingdom of God. Lukewarm and thus useless, God often uses pain to quicken and awaken them, to stand strong against powers and rulers of darkness,

“Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” (Ephesians 6:10)

Ephesians 6:10-18 has sadly become almost cliché. This is not a spiritual mantra, it is powerful war cry against the “Amalekites” the “Philistines” against the wiles of demonic powers that come to ruin us today. Against such the Lord does not give us incantations, spells, or rituals…He gives us His authority!

Satan himself does not need spells, incantations or rituals to inflict personal harm, mental anguish, injury, confusion, fear and anxiety. However, luring and engaging people into witchcraft provides emissaries to broaden and personalize his assaults. The power comes wrapped in pure hatred, knowing that those who partake in his evil will share in his eternal condemnation. Foolishly, man believes he is using powers when in fact the powers are using him.

Every battle and cunning scheme we could possibly face is personified in the Word of God. Our measure of victory lies in this one strategy: total alignment and dependence upon God Almighty. As soldiers train before combat, we too must ground ourselves in God’s Word, “living and active, sharper than any two edged sword” to be armed and shielded when the enemy attacks. Our power, our foothold in the trenches, depends upon the authority we weld and grasp through God’s Word. We must recognize the voice of the Lord and discern His will in the battle.

“Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you will honor Me.” (Psalm 50:15)

Overcoming strength comes as we determine to shut in with Him and His Word without restraint…search and study the scriptures prayerfully until, like Living Water, they speak into our heart…listen to the Lord’s direction…commit as He leads to ‘late night’ even ‘all night’ prayer. Fast. Pray for partners to join in. Avail ourselves to powerful messages by godly pastors who know victory through fiery trials….determine to praise and worship Him before the victory is revealed.

Christ died to set us free. He ‘disarmed the powers of darkness and made a public spectacle of them’. Brothers and sisters, we are loved by God. God is for us. But anyone who “practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, casts spells, anyone who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead” is detestable to the Lord. (Deuteronomy 18:10-11). Pity the one positioned against Christ’s Body, of whom God declares, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay”.

We are in those “terrible times” described in II Timothy 3, the ‘last days’ before Christ’s return as Judge. Ruthless and heartless, treacherous and brutal, men will seek outlets of power in their rebellion to God. They find that source through witchcraft in its many forms, mainstreamed through culture, religion, and entertainment. It appeals to man’s most deadly lust – the prideful lust for power and control.

We are not immune to demonic assaults but we must resolve to trust our Lord as Defender and Commander over the battle. As we surrender to Jesus Christ, He girds us in His living Word and reveals more of Himself and His power, enabling us as His witnesses in this dark world.

“Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in Me will not be disappointed.” (Isaiah 48:23)

 

isaiah 46b

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.”  Jesus Christ

 

(Do not be alone in your struggle. Reach out to believers even join in prayer meetings online such as http://www.tscnyc.org Tuesday nights, 7pm, EST. Submit prayer requests online or through text message.)